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Getting Rid of Negativity and Avoiding Negative People



Do you know someone that drags you down or makes you feel small or less than? Someone that makes you want to scream or go hide under a rock after every interaction? 


One thing you need to understand is that you can't get anyone to change unless he or she wants to change. The only person you can change is yourself - and how you react to other people's negativity or let their negative attitudes affect you. 


As you deal with these people, consider your feelings after you have interacted with them. What was the result of your being in contact with that person? Did you feel worse or distressed or depressed? Did talking to that person make you begin to doubt yourself or your ability to do something you've been striving for? This is what attitude is all about. Try not to let those people control you and your emotions.


Follow these tips to rid yourself of other's negativity:


  • Make up your mind that you are in control of yourself and that you will not let anyone else steal your joy and optimism. This may take time. The people who cause negative feelings can be your family members, such as your parents, siblings, spouse, or even very close friends. Begin changing your reactions to the other person's negative remarks - remain calm, keep a smile, exude joyfulness - this is sometimes enough to change the dynamic of the interaction. If there is a particular person that causes negativity or causes you to feel bad with every interaction, and nothing else has worked, then you may need to distance yourself from them.

  • Try to be helpful to negative people. This may seem counterintuitive, but remember, "hurt people hurt people". Helping them through their own pain may help spark a shift in their attitude towards you.

  • Begin increasing your time with people who lift your spirits and with whom you feel good upon interacting with, and decrease your time spent with those who tend to bring you down.

  • When you have to interact with negative people, due to working with them or occasionally needing to interact with family members, mentally place it in the category of "social diplomacy". Good social skills can take you far in the workplace and in your personal life. Be self-aware and ensure that you are interacting with a positive attitude, no matter what the other person is doing. Keep the interaction as "short and sweet" as possible, and then move on. Remember, they don't have to be your best friend, or even your friend at all, and you don't need their approval; you simply need to make it through this interaction.

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